Transparent Trojan Horse being pulled into London by Eager Labour MPs.
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Special Transparent Trojan Horse edition.
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Dateline Oct. 2, 2025
Manchester — Police have charged 28-year-old Jihad A in connection with stabbings at Piccadilly Market that left three people dead and two injured. Officials urge “Context.”
Authorities confirmed the suspect is the eldest of three siblings: Mortaujuif and Sharia. Their father told reporters the names had “no political meaning,” saying he had chosen them “for the way the consonants and vowels worked together,” and adding that the French-style name was chosen simply because “I really, really like pastry.”
At a vigil for the family of the terrorist, Labour Councilwoman Jennifer Whitless described the family as “a lovely, misunderstood household” and argued that the tragedy was shaped by prejudice.
“Back in grade eight, there was a pencil-sharpening incident,” Whitmore said. “He was disciplined after breaking a pencil — or maybe he stabbed a student in the back with a pencil, I can’t quite remember — and the shame of that stayed with him. Society marked him, and this is the result. If murders have occurred, it is society’s failure, not his. It is Islamophobia”
During her remarks, Whitmore stood beside a sculpture of a transparent Trojan horse, part of a community art display. “We must always be willing to welcome what others fear,” she told the crowd.
Other speakers cited systemic racism, marginalisation, and cultural exclusion as central factors.
Not all agreed. Imran Qureshi, a Muslim shopkeeper, said: “The man who did this is a murderer. He is not our representative. He is not our faith. Stop excusing brutality in the name of theory.”
Winnipeg — Police confirmed today that Michael Turner, 42, has been charged with the murders of two Indigenous women whose bodies were discovered near the Red River. Authorities described the case as ongoing but had identified an indigenous killer as the main suspect.
At a press conference, Dr Lily Fairleigh-Smythe, a recently dismissed University of Manitoba academic, characterised the killings as “further evidence of the continuing genocide against Indigenous women perpetrated by white society.”
Fairleigh-Smythe, who lost her position after controversy over her claimed Métis identity, explained:
“My grandfather once told me he had attended a powwow in Lethbridge in 1983. Later, he admitted he had not actually been there but had only dreamed of it.
For years, I understood this to grant me Métis status. I was subsequently awarded $803,000 in federal research and cultural grants. The revocation of my academic role is itself a colonial erasure.”
Turning to the case, she added: “The violence remains colonial in nature. Turner’s grandfather once handed in an essay at a residential school that did not receive a smiley face from the teacher. The trauma cascades down generations. This is not his fault. In fact, I would argue that because of such trauma, it is best for all Indigenous peoples never to work and to be completely subsidised by the state. Work itself is colonial. To expect Indigenous people to pursue careers or productivity is to retraumatise them.”
When a reporter asked, “Isn’t it good to have a purpose in life, to have the pride of accomplishment? Isn’t that the better way to go?” Fairleigh-Smythe replied:
“Yeah — if you’re a racist. If you’re a racist devil and a radical colonial settler, that’s exactly what I would expect you to say.”
Indigenous reporter J. McMurtry, on assignment with the Toronto Star, was flown in to interview all the invisible killers and murderous residential teachers, and after failing to get solid interviews, was fired.
“I’m a dinosaur, I thought truth mattered more than truthines,” he quipped.
Both reporters were escorted out of the room by campus security.
Ottawa — A 26-year-old man identified by police only as “a member of a recognised equity group” was sentenced today in Ontario Superior Court for murder. The presiding judge praised him as “a victim of circumstance” before applying the new Minority Equity Points Card system to reduce his sentence.
The scheme, introduced under the Carney government, provides electronic credits for recognised attributes. Court officials outlined the current schedule:
Woman: +10 points
Transgender: +25 points
Indigenous: +30 points
Visible minority: +15 points
Black and poor: +20 points
Handicapped (self-reported, including dizziness when standing): +20 points
Asian and poor: –25 points
Cisgender male: –15 points (historically called ‘males’)
White and poor: –20 points
Russian man - 45 points
Palestinian +50 omits
White Jewish male - 100 points
White male - 50 points
Jewish -60 points
Points may be redeemed for reduced sentences, discounts on traffic fines, and free ice cream on the third Sunday of every month.
At sentencing, the defendant’s total was tallied at 85 points, reducing a three-year term to time served plus counselling.
Taco Bell also allowed point collectors to redeem points for food, and Shoppers Drug Mart, in conjunction with the Taco Bell program, offered redemption, but only for free Immodium.
Toronto — A national survey of Canadian campuses found that 11% of students believe the Holocaust did not occur, and a further 17% called it “so-called” or “exaggerated.”
At the University of Guelph-Humber — recently rebranded under its new identity, “Gumber” — students were recorded chanting “F— Zionists” in hallways, while Palestinian flags were displayed prominently during convocation.
At the same time, Associate Vice-Provost Georgina Barkass was busy draping an enormous keffiyeh around the entire building as part of Anti-Semitism Awareness Week.
Commenting on the figures, media professor Jeff Shupok said he hoped the numbers would increase. “Even if my students tell me Auschwitz and Dachau are myths, even if 50 percent of them say that, I’m pleased,” Shupok said. “It means they’re engaging with history. It’s a positive development. I want to help them produce TikTok videos about how the Mossad taught sharks to invade beaches in Egypt to attack swimmers.”
Gumber spokesperson Wail Ramanazi, and the new Dean of the Victimisation Studies program, also excitedly announced that in celebration of Oct. 7, Gumber would cancel classes every year on that date and create a symposium on how to modernise ancient Jewish blood libels.
News of the World asked the local OPSEU branch for comment on questions of academic freedom in relation to Holocaust denial. OPSEU spokesman Milos Assitch-Austrich replied: “If anybody breaks the students’ right to deny the Holocaust and blame Jews for everything — especially climate change — we’ll be on the phone to the CBC the next day and we’ll have the roads blocked.”
Austrich added that the union was sponsoring a seminar, in partnership with the Antifa Friendship Society, titled “Work Makes Freedom: Rethinking Historical Narratives.” It will be run in both German and English.
Flyers advertised the session as an exploration of “alternative understandings of labour and liberty.”
When further asked why the union did not speak up when a Jewish professor was fired for criticising Hamas, Assitch answered: “You don’t get it. At Gumper, Hamas are the good guy. You don’t knock Hamas at Gumper.”
University policy now forbids the display of Canadian flags on campus, citing their “colonial symbolism.” Administrators further mandated that all student organisations begin their meetings with both a land acknowledgement and a collective chant of “From the river to the sea.”
At its most recent gathering, the Gumber New Media Club briefly asked whether the land acknowledgement was necessary. A motion to omit it was defeated, and the group proceeded with both the acknowledgement and the chant.
When second-year business students Abigail Psychoretardi and Ben Idioti at Gumper were asked what the slogan “From the river to the sea” meant, they replied: “It’s about Jews polluting rivers with too many plastic straws. The straws keep ending up in turtle noses, and I think it’s disgusting.”
In response to both the survey findings and the recent murders in Manchester, Vice-Provost Melody Akrid-Jihad announced the launch of an expanded Islamophobia awareness campaign.
“When Muslim terrorists kill people, the greatest harm is not the deaths themselves,” Akrid-Jihad said. “The danger is the backlash. People might begin to question whether Islam is truly the religion of love and peace. That is always my concern. I don’t care about a bunch of dead Jews.”
Observers noted that the announcement was made beside another installation of the transparent Trojan horse sculpture, part of the same touring art project.
Mississauga — Outside a Tim Hortons, three men from different communities spoke briefly with reporters following the week’s events.
“I hate that bastard Jihad who killed those people,” said Imran Qureshi, a Manchester-born shopkeeper. “He makes us all look bad. And what disgusts me most is the way everyone makes excuses for him. It’s shameful.”
Beside him, Thomas Grey, an Indigenous community worker, nodded in agreement. “I’ve seen the same thing here. Every wrong act is excused as if people have no will of their own. It just ruins us.”
A third man, Harjit Singh, a Sikh truck driver, added: “It’s the same story again and again. They say it’s trauma, or history, or somebody else’s fault. Meanwhile, ordinary people suffer. Enough.”
At that moment, a college student passing by shouted at the men. “Fascist! Colonial settler! White-adjacent! Tool of empire!” stringing together four slogans in rapid succession, but stopping herself midway on “Hitler had the right idea” as she seemed to note the group was not Jewish.
The three men shook their heads silently and left together, almost tripping over a vendor on the sidewalk who was selling transparent Trojan horses in miniature form.
End of Dispatch.
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